On Saturday, March 22nd at 1:30 am, my dear Uncle Gordon Harvey Pammett passed away - just a few hours after Good Friday. He has been a huge part of my life for many years so I joyfully delivered his eulogy, yesterday, March 26th at the Comstock Funeral Home in Peterborough. This was a wonderful opportunity for the healing process to begin.
My brother Kevin posted a lovely tribute as well.
Yesterday dawned with this glorious sunrise as we prepared to leave for Peterborough.
Aaron made made a video of the service for those who could not attend. If you'd like to hear me delivering the Eulogy, click this You Tube link.
My eulogy commenced with this Ecclesiastes video presentation that Amber helped me lift from the web. We were able to get sufficient technical support to view it on a very large drop down screen at the front of the room, over the Urn site.
Eulogy for Gord Pammett
The Quintessential, “God’s Good Man” by Nanci Phelan
To speak of my uncle, Gord Pammett is to speak of the quintessential “God’s Good Man.” If there was nothing else to say about Gord, that would be it. He was a gentle man, and a gentleman of the highest calibre. He was to this world a wonderful blessing and we remain better people for having had him in our lives.
This has been a year of sad losses for our family. Not only did we lose Gord’s wife, Glenora, last July, but my brother Johnny died unexpectedly last month as well. My dear friend Bunty, who lives in Brockville, sent me the following condolence message last month after his death.
“I hope you have a chance to heal a little bit and recover from the shock of Johnny's death. We all react to loss in different ways, and since it will soon be my time to bow out, I have been telling my family to react positively when the time comes. Of course, death coming at the end of a long, happy, productive life, is very different from a younger person being untimely cut off, but, as I have said before, death is the ultimate healing from all the vicissitudes of life, whether it be simply old age, ill health, or emotional anguish. In that belief we must take comfort. No one ever said life would be easy.”
Then in response to an email I’d sent her about Gord, last weekend, she commented:
“I am sorry to hear that your Uncle has gone from this earth and from your sight, but at least you know, without the least shadow of doubt, that he is at peace. Obviously he was much loved and respected by everyone who knew him, in the course of his long sojourn here. When my Father died in 1964 someone remarked that he had been the quintessential "God's Good Man." From the little I know of your Uncle, I believe this would be an appropriate tribute to him as well. Would that we all might be remembered so kindly and lovingly when our turn comes!”
So I have stolen her theme, for goodness followed Gord throughout the many seasons of his long, happy and productive life.
Gord’s time to be born was March 4th, 1917 in Peterborough, Ontario. He was my Grandmother Eason’s firstborn son with her first husband, Melville Pammett, who died when Gord was quite young. This lovely old picture of Gord on the tricycle was taken in 1922 when Gord was 5 with my father, Dutch Pammett who was 2. From their body language, and the expression on their faces I can see that Gord was a protective older brother and my father really of looked up to him then and throughout his life. Since Grandma was left alone to raise the two boys she had to go out to work, and was able to persuade the school to let my father enrol at a younger age, because big brother Gord was there to look out for him. Though times were tough, I know they had lots of fun playing sports, and getting into mischief and I’m sure they ate well for Grandma was a wonderful cook!
During the planting time of Gord’s childhood and high school years, the seeds for success were sewn in abundance. While in high school Gord worked delivering papers for the Peterborough Examiner, and as a mail boy, then as an evening shift corn mill operator, for the Quaker Oats, so he could earn enough money to put himself through university. My father went the opposite direction, dropping out of high school to go to work, but I’m sure the example of his older brother finishing university, made him push for his own children to obtain their university degrees. Gord developed a wonderful work ethic and a love of learning that resulted in him earning a degree in Chemistry and Biology from Queen’s University in 1947, graduating not only cum laude, but in the final year of University, he did two years in one!!!
With the advent of World War II, there was a time of war, a time of hate and a time to kill. In 1943 Gord joined the navy on an officers training course, but was discharged because of faulty colour vision. Duty beckoned however, as Gord was called into the Governors General Footguards and was sent to England and Hilverson, in Holland, where he taught mathematics and physics to Canadian soldiers awaiting their return to Canada. When Marion and I were finding homes for the contents of Gord’s house, we discovered that the Dutch-Master-like painting that was hanging over the fireplace, was brought back from the war by Gord, rolled up into a tube as evidenced by some cracked paint. Although Gord learned grief when his father died, I’m sure his experiences in the war provided a time to mourn, perhaps the beginnings of the teary-eyed, sensitivity that coloured his later years. The older I get, the more I appreciate the valuable service those of Gord’s generation gave to our country, the sacrifices they made, and the immense contribution they gave so the world could know a time of peace.
There was a time to love and a time to embrace. During his early twenties Gord met the love of his life, Glenora Henry, while working for the National Research Council in Ottawa. They met at a dance in 1942 and were married, just a few months later, spending their early years in Renfrew where Gord was Laboratory Manager for Dominion Magnesium. It must have been love at first sight!!!!! Word has it that Mrs Henry had her heart set on her daughter marrying a senator and becoming part of the upper crust. She was not too pleased with this match but boy was she mistaken. With Gord as a husband, Glenora got a lot more than upward mobility….. she had a husband who adored her and provided a lucrative lifestyle, in which her every fancy was indulged.
Gord is to Glenora, as Prince Albert is the Queen Victoria, as Anthony is to Cleopatra, as Richard Burton is to Elizabeth Taylor. They became an inseparable couple, wrapped in a love that would last almost 65 years. Having the privilege of seeing how good Gord was to Glenora, when she was going through the last few years of her life, gave me a glimpse into the real meaning of “loving each other til death do us part”. He put her needs ahead of his own, even to the point of living in a locked alzheimer’s ward with her, and foregoing his own personal life in order to be there in case she needed him. He bent over backwards to bring whatever amount of joy he could to her final days, going without sleep and pushing himself beyond his limits, patiently, even in the face of her stroke induced criticism. It broke his heart to leave London against Glenora’s will and move to Peterborough but he knew it was best for them both. In this age of broken marriages and selfish acquisitions, their marriage stands as a source of inspiration and hope.When Glenora died last summer, the sparkle went out of Gord’s eyes. His heart was rent in two. It was indeed a time to break down and a time to weep. For the last eight months we have watched Gord decline bit by bit, sleeping away the time until he could become one again with his love. Today my heart leaps for joy because if there is a God out there, they are together again in their own time for peace.
There was a time to build up and a time to plant. From 1948 to 1982, Gord worked in the field of veterinary sales with several different companies, starting with Pitman Moore in Port Hope, then Stevenson, Turner & Boyce in Peterborough, and finally Pfizer in London, where they moved in 1965 and stayed for over 40 years. One of his most interesting jobs was opening a branch in Reading, England in 1961 where their wonderful friendship with Maureen Dowling was born.
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Gord had many executive positions throughout the years and met a lot of interesting people while working as a salesman. The companies he worked for prospered. Glenora was employed as a legal secretary during the working season of their lives and they both exhibited great zeal and dedication, showing a utilitarian work ethic that I would love to bottle and sell.
But all work and no play would make Gord a dull boy!!!! There was also time for dancing and laughter. The Pammetts spent many happy hours at their family cottage near Ottawa and attended countless plays at the London Little Theatre and the Toronto’s Royal Alexander Theatre. People were welcomed to their home with open arms, feasting first on Glenora’s delicious home cooked meals, then on Gord’s fabulous slide shows. The many friends they built up over the years added a layer of richness to their lives.
Gord also kept his mind active - taking courses from Western and investing in the stock market. He was a money manager par excellence. This love of stocks was his second passion in life and one that kept him involved and challenged. Just a few months ago we knew Gord was on his final journey because he quit asking about the stock market and given the status of stocks recently, this made Hugh sigh with relief!!!
Although they were not blessed with children, Gord and Glenora became mentors for their nieces and nephews, taking me into their home and into their hearts when I was at University in London. No special occasion went unmarked with words of praise or special gifts, not only for me and my family, but also for the families of all their relatives and many friends. Gord was the Lord of the Dance. He always had a listening ear and words of wisdom to impart.
There was a time to pluck that which is planted – the golden years of retirement, starting in 1982. Check out Gord in this snazzy, bright, red track suit posing on a beach in Portugal…... camera in tow!! They travelled extensively in Europe, with Royal Tours out of Mississauga, and wintered for many years in Spain and Arizona. Gord embraced life as he never had before, making the most of every day.
He joined the Middlesex Kiwanis Club, holding offices as chairman of, Membership, Program, and the Bequest and Endowment Fund committees. This organization was very active in providing funds for the local Kiwanis Music Festival, and I remember many a year when Gord would be tied up for several weeks administering the competitions, though music was not his forte. How he looked forward to their weekly meetings, even attending one last meeting at Princess Gardens before he got sick. Although this is primarily a men’s organization, Glenora would join in for the couples events and she managed to get Gord to play, reluctantly I might add, with their bridge group. He wasn’t very fond of card games or crossword puzzles but always had unique mind testing mechanical puzzles around his house to pique the curiosity of visiting children.
Gord was also very active in the University health club, known as the Retirement Research Association and was chairman of the group for a few years……. even getting Glenora out exercising (and that was not her forte) during their last few years in London. He participated in fund raising for the Salvation Army and was active in their Baptist Church. “No” was not in his vocabulary.
Gord never stopped learning. He stepped into the computer age with aplomb….. sneaking off to track his finances on Excel spreadsheets and even learned to download and forward attachments, all the while typing with two fingers!!! I had great fun showing him some of the joys and frustrations of this technological wonder, and was always proud to tell my friends that my 80 plus year old Uncle was quite adept on his computer. Indeed this is the only possession he didn’t give up after his final move to Princess Gardens. It was had been his companion and friend and network to the outside world.
How Gord loved life and loved the people in his life…… especially the children, and they loved him back. One of the great joys of those retirement years was working in the schools, listening to children read as a volunteer teacher. I’m sure he was very patient and positive with the children, taking great pride in their accomplishments. He knew the time to keep silent and the time to speak and if he happened to slip up Glenora would promptly put him in his place!!! He was a man of few words, more a listener….. gentle, sweet, curious and interested in the world around him. His generosity in both time and money knew no bounds. He aged gracefully, ever growing in wisdom. He knew when to gather up stones of compassion and love, and when to cast away stones of prejudice and hatred. An unkind word never crossed his lips.
Gord’s mother found joy for many years in a second marriage to my grandfather, Bill Eason. From this union Gord was blessed with another sister Marion and a brother Ken, who unfortunately died in his 50’s. Gord was away from home during most of Marion’s growing up years but became very close to her and Hugh during his golden years. When they moved back to Peterborough last May their lives could not have been in more loving hands.
It was a time to sew together the last pieces of the quilt, a time to prepare for the final healing. Marion was the best sister anyone could ask for. She took on the endless jobs of organizing the moves, arranging appointments, nurturing and administering all the details that become so difficult when life is getting away from us. Thoughtfulness must run in their family for Marion was there anticipating every need, from washing bedspreads to brushing false teeth. It is through family that we know the love of God within. The past few months have been difficult for both Gord and Marion, but from adversity comes strength. Marion’s whole family pitched in to help and spend some cherished time with Gord this past year. Theirs was a labour of love that knows the rewards of love. I am so grateful that they were there when I couldn’t be.
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Then came Gord’s time to die. It seems like he has been asleep for the past eight months as his body got weaker and weaker. Like a sleeping prince, my sleeping Prince, Glenora’s sleeping prince. How she used to complain when he snoozed too much. I hope his dreams were pleasant. His demeanour certainly was. The care givers from all five homes he was in during the past two years commented on his wonderful disposition, his sweetness. He was gracious to the last, never complaining though his hours were long and his quality of life so distilled. His mind was sharp til his life ebbed away to the ultimate mercy and healing of death. His time for every purpose under heaven has come full circle.
For some reason the song you have just listened to (click to hear song: Turn, Turn, Turn), which hails from Ecclesiastes 3: verses 1-8 and was made famous by the Byrds in the seventies, popped into my head when I was thinking about my novegenarian uncle.
I will forever be grateful for Gord in my life – his love and support, his listening ear, his kindly advice, his fatherly way of caring, his work ethic, his moral stance, his generosity, his gentle spirit, his inspiration as a husband, his wonderful community mindedness, his quintessential example of God’s Good Man. We were walking through a mall one day and he just decided to buy me this pretty red jacket, for no reason, just because he was who he was. This is a man who gave me away when I got married, when my own father refused. He wrote me the most eloquent toast to the bride. This is a man who helped us finance the building of our dream house. This is a man who remembered all the special moments in my families’ lives. This is a man I can never forget, a man whose love knows no bounds.In his memory I would like to close with the following poem, author unknown.
Remembering My Uncle Gord (Uncles Who Are No Longer Among Us)
In tears we saw you sinking
And watched you pass away
Our hearts were almost broken
We wanted you to stay
But when we saw you sleeping
So peaceful free from pain
How could we wish you back with us
To suffer that again
It broke our hearts to lose you
But you did not go alone
For part of us went with you
The day God took you home
If roses grow in Heaven
Lord please pick a bunch for me
Place them in my Uncle’s arms
And tell him they’re from me
Tell him I love him and miss him
And when he turns to smile
Place a kiss upon his cheek
And hold him for awhile
Because remembering him is easy
I do it every day
But there’s an ache within my heart
That will never go away
Don’t think of him as gone away
His journey’s just begun
Life holds so many facets
This earth is only one
Just think of him as resting
From the sorrows and the tears
In a place of warmth and comfort
Where there are no days and years
Think how he must be wishing
That we could know today
How nothing but our sadness
Can really pass away
And think of him as living
In the hearts of those he touched
For nothing loved is ever lost
And he is loved so very much
