My brother Johnny has quite a wit. He stands up for injustices in this world and has a unique way of eliciting a smile from others in the process.
I got some very sad news yesterday about my brother. He is in the hospital in Bathurst, New Brunswick with a diagnosis of liver and kidney cancer, metastasized from the throat cancer he had in 2000, at the same time as our mom was dying from stomach cancer.
Inspite of being terrified of all things medical, especially doctors and needles, his courage in the face of radiation, commando surgery and a life threatening illness, has been a great inspiration to me. His quality of life has been deeply affected. He lost his teeth, taste buds, appetite and boyish good looks. Since then the journey has been up and down, but he bought into life and carried on with chin held high and sense of humour intact. As his 6 foot 2 frame dwindled to 110 pounds (not much fun living on boost), he would joke about wishing I could give him some of my excess poundage. Oh I wish!!!!
In 2003 he moved to Bathurst and became the conscience for their local newspaper. One of his letters to the editor read like this:
I got some very sad news yesterday about my brother. He is in the hospital in Bathurst, New Brunswick with a diagnosis of liver and kidney cancer, metastasized from the throat cancer he had in 2000, at the same time as our mom was dying from stomach cancer.
Inspite of being terrified of all things medical, especially doctors and needles, his courage in the face of radiation, commando surgery and a life threatening illness, has been a great inspiration to me. His quality of life has been deeply affected. He lost his teeth, taste buds, appetite and boyish good looks. Since then the journey has been up and down, but he bought into life and carried on with chin held high and sense of humour intact. As his 6 foot 2 frame dwindled to 110 pounds (not much fun living on boost), he would joke about wishing I could give him some of my excess poundage. Oh I wish!!!!
In 2003 he moved to Bathurst and became the conscience for their local newspaper. One of his letters to the editor read like this:
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"Insurers have quite a thing going
Can you imagine working for a company where, if your customers “dare” to ask for financial restitution for an accident and have paid for this coverage, they are either penalized by larger rates or cancellation of their coverage – as if they had insulted your rules.
If I ever come back to this earth in the after-life I would like to be a CEO of an insurance company. I would have financial security, and what a pension! To heck with the customers, the poor beggars. "
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During the past eight years he has been there for me, particularly when I was facing chemo and radiation treatments for Breast Cancer. During those days he called me often, listened to what I was going through, sent me copies of his articles and shared old photos. I was so touched by his love and support, understanding and balmy outlook on life. I feel very helpless now living so far away from him at this poignant time in his life. I pray that I will have the right words to say to him when I go there next week with my brother Kevin, and the courage to love him enough to say goodbye.
I plan on reading him George Constanza’s words of wisdom:
Can you imagine working for a company where, if your customers “dare” to ask for financial restitution for an accident and have paid for this coverage, they are either penalized by larger rates or cancellation of their coverage – as if they had insulted your rules.
If I ever come back to this earth in the after-life I would like to be a CEO of an insurance company. I would have financial security, and what a pension! To heck with the customers, the poor beggars. "
__________________________________________________________________
During the past eight years he has been there for me, particularly when I was facing chemo and radiation treatments for Breast Cancer. During those days he called me often, listened to what I was going through, sent me copies of his articles and shared old photos. I was so touched by his love and support, understanding and balmy outlook on life. I feel very helpless now living so far away from him at this poignant time in his life. I pray that I will have the right words to say to him when I go there next week with my brother Kevin, and the courage to love him enough to say goodbye.
I plan on reading him George Constanza’s words of wisdom:
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work for forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend the next 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap. Then you finish off as an orgasm!!!!! Amen.
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You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work for forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend the next 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap. Then you finish off as an orgasm!!!!! Amen.
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I’m sure Johnny would take out that insurance policy inspite of the high premiums if he could just live his Life in Reverse. Maybe he will put this on his CEO “to do” list and get the last laugh first.
2 comments:
Thanks for writing such a thoughtful article about our brother, Nanci. It speaks volumes that you've kept all that stuff over the years, and the you so quickly put together something so right-to-the-point about your relationship with him. Wow !
I know this "last chapter" is just beginning. I'm sure glad that we're on this road together.
-Love, Kevin.
Elegantly said, Nanci. Our fairytales of life sure vanish into thin air when you face the reality of the harshness of life! I'm so sorry to hear of Johnny's cancer returning in such a drastic outcome. Really, nothing anyone could have done by the time his throat cancer showed up in 2000 - the message here, I guess, is that every day does counts in life and how you spend it and the choices you make can have horrible consequences. Smoking cigarettes - who would have guessed way back when that this choice could impact a life so seriously 40-50 years later. In your instance of breast cancer, you can't say the same thing about your choices because I don't know of any actions any of us take that brings that on! But, cigarettes we know are playing with mortality. Setting that aside, I know Johnny never smoked with that intention in mind. Like so many people, he had an addiction that is not easy to confront and abandon. Life's choices are serious and that is what I hope my daughter has a better visibility on than I did. I work hard to make sure she "gets it". I do believe everything in this world happens for a reason and it is yours and Kevin's opportunity to embrace those reasons and to seize the day to make the most of the current opportunity. I send my deepest support and love to each of you. Your losses have been more than most. Saddness is one emotion that comes to my mind, but I also feel lonliness, distance, helplessness, abandonment (maybe) and loss for you and Kevin. I'm sure your emotions are even more. I hope you both can find the happy sides of this awful situation, too. Gratitude is powerful!
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